


Dick and Perry Get Married

by XxTime_TravelerxX



Series: The Misadventures of Dick and Perry [3]
Category: In Cold Blood - Truman Capote
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, accidental elopment, alcohol mention, another alternate universe, but like a continuation of the first, has nothing to do with the second, minor canon references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-12
Updated: 2016-10-12
Packaged: 2018-08-21 23:43:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8264746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XxTime_TravelerxX/pseuds/XxTime_TravelerxX
Summary: AU! in which Dick and Perry accidentally marry each other in Vegas after a stupid drunken night and find they're actually deeply in love. Just 2 dudes being bros and 2 bros being homos.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I have no possible explanations for why I've done this and nothing I could come up with would ever suffice enough to justice the existence of this entire series.  
> But, enjoy reading anyway.

The year is still 1959 and a few weeks after their brutal bible-beating that turned them into good people, Dick and Perry find their way to Las Vegas, as two bros being dudes.  
After establishing a place to stay at another crappy hotel, it is early evening and the two men are itching for something to do. They move around their room, each moving their box of things while getting ready for a night out.

"Where are we going tonight?" Perry asks.

Dick pauses and takes a moment to think. "How about we go to a strip club?"

"How about just a bar?" Perry rolls his eyes, uninterested in strippers.

"Good enough, we can pick up chicks there too." Perry rolls his eyes again.

A few hours and a few beers later, the two men are sitting in a bar, trying and failing to pick up women. Perry watches Dick flirt with women, get rejected and come sit back down, while he sips his beer, amused.

"Another bust? Maybe you should give it up."

"Nah, man."

Perry says nothing and turns his attention back to his beer.

A few more hours and a lot of more beers, the two men continue to be rejected are also very drunk. They decide to leave the bar and stagger on down the street, without a direction in their minds.

"You're my best friend" Perry slurs to Dick, not used to drinking so much.

"I love you." Dick slurs back.

They walk drunkenly past a wedding chapel and stop to look back at each other.

"I love you, too."

"We should spend the rest of our lives together, bro. We should get married."

Perry looks up at Dick with drunken admiration. He briefly wonders if there's a word for being or acting gay. "Bro, okay."

They walk into the chapel holding hands, two dudes being bros. Because hand-holding and marrying another man is just something bros do, no homo. Also let's just pretend gay marriage was a thing at the time to make it interesting.

They walk up to the front of the chapel still holding hands.

The resulting marriage is a blur for both of them because they are very drunk. After they go out and buy wedding rings then pass out in their hotel room, on the same bed, nearly naked.

"Duuude" Dick groans as he wakes up. He then realizes he is in his underwear next to Perry, with an available bed across the room. "Dude" he says again urgently waking Perry.

"What the fuck, Dick?" Perry annoyingly groans.

"Dude" Dick cries as he realizes he has a wedding ring on his finger, as this is all he can say at this moment.

"Dick, the fuck? What?" At the moment, Dick thrusts his left hand in Perry's face, unable to find any words other than 'dude'. "? ? ? Married? Dude, no chick would even look at you last night" Perry pushes Dick's hand away from his face and tries to get up.

Dick grabs Perry's left hand as he gets up. "Dude!!!" He exclaims, still at a loss for words and unable to put the pieces together.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

A silence hangs over the room as the two confused men search for their words and a possible explanation. They both realize, suddenly and violently, that they are sharing the same bed (in their underwear) and there are no women in sight.

"Did we get married last night?" Perry whispers.

"Holy fuck," Dick whispers at the same time. "I think so."

"Fuck"

They spend the rest of their morning in silence. Until they realize, at the same convenient moment, that they love each other and that's why they got married.

". . . Dude" Dick begins at one end of the room.

"Yeah, bro."

"I love you."

"Duude, I love you too." Perry crosses the room to Dick.

"Cool, what now?"

They make out for approximately 3 hours or 3 minutes, either way it was extremely awkward because neither of them had ever kissed another man before. After the initial awkwardness, they make out for the next 3 years, probably.

"Nice, cool, okay. What do we do now that we're married?" Perry asks, breaking off the awkwardest/ hottest makeout session of his life.

"Buy a house?"

"I'm pretty sure we have, like, 3 whole dollars between the two of us but yeah, okay. Sounds good. Where do you want to live?"

". . . I haven't thought that far ahead."

"Me neither."

5 whole entire minutes of silence go by and they continue standing there, staring at each other.

"Let's makeout until one of us comes up with a plan or whatever." Dick suggests and Perry shrugs.

Neither of them come up with a plan because the makeout session was too intense.


End file.
